Day 1 of my diet…starting Monday!

I cannot tell you the amount of times I’ve started day 1 of my diet, binging the night before on KFC, chocolate and chips. All this to get ready to take on the world starting Monday only to last god knows how long. 

Any diet that has been introduced on Dr Oz, 600lb life, Oprah or Joe Cross, I’ve been there and done that, heck I even did water fasting. I told Mr Peepaw I was starting my diet on Monday and he rolled his eyes and said “here we go again”. I replied with the famous lines “why aren’t you supporting me? you never support me in my weightloss journey!” and stormed off thinking to myself, ooh this feels like deja vu.

So there I was sitting in the Hungry Jack’s queue telling myself it was all good because I was starting on Monday. I drove up and ordered a large meal including a raspberry with lemon burstie frozen drink. The drive thru is a trap for someone like me.

Monday arrived and I woke up to my alarm at 6.15am and thought, this is it. I put on my active wear, socks and shoes and interrupted my dog who was sleeping balls up to go for a walk with me, the dog wasn’t impressed. If my dog could talk he would’ve said ‘here we go again, dragging me into her day 1 Monday diet’.

I felt good and waved at all my fellow morning risers who were probably thinking ‘we haven’t seen her in awhile’. I returned home and thanked my dog and realised Mr Peepaw had already left for work. I selected Life by Des’ree on spotify and hummed as I got ready.

I was doing fine until I realised it was Karen’s farewell morning tea which was a grazing table made up of everything. I struggled through morning tea and snacked on my celery and edamame beans pretending they were choc chip cookies. The struggle was hashtag REAL! Then came 4.30pm and I was a mess, my stomach was making weird noises during a meeting and I was drinking so much water I was making regular trips to the bathroom. I asked a colleague for nurofen for my headache and all I could think about was the left over food on the grazing table.

I drove home and kicked Des’ree to the curb and opted for Backstreet Boys ‘show me the meaning of being lonely’. I thought the song described how I was feeling on my journey. I arrived home and Mr Peepaw was no where in sight, even the dogs were keeping their distance. I slumped on the couch and reflected on my life and got emotional, crying here and there.

Mr Peepaw arrived home and saw me lying across the couch holding onto a cushion, staring up at the ceiling looking for answers. Then a familiar scent hit me, I stared at Mr Peepaw who was hiding something behind his back. Is that a Hawaiian pizza with cheesy crust and a garlic bread I smell?. He nodded yes. That’s when I shouted, “you know I’m on my healthy journey and you’re suppose to be supporting me and you know I love hawaiian cheesy crust and garlic bread.” Tears flowed down my face, I should’ve been nominated for a golden globe award.

He hurriedly walked past me and whistled for the dogs because he knew they were in the firing zone as well. I thought to myself, why was he doing this when I’ve been doing so well on my healthy journey. I had been avoiding all bad snacks during my journey and he shows up with a pizza.

Then it hit me, Journey? what Journey? I realised it was only Monday, day 1 of my journey. Oh lord!

Penelope Peepaw