What NOT to do when you see an old flame.

Some of us have those thoughts about bumping into an old flame looking like an uber 5 star rating, sashay past them and hit them with a little smirk that says “I look good and I know it”. Well that wasn’t the case for me, I found myself hiding in the airport newslink store praying to god he didn’t want a $15 bag of maltesers.

We dated for 5 years and I honestly thought he was the one. He got along with my family, we had similar interests and he was handsome but all good things must come to an end and it did. We were petty and blocked each other on social media and moved to different cities.

Yes, those break up playlists you find on spotify, were probably created by me!

He would cross my mind from time to time especially when I was at the gym or punching a boxing bag, some people say that approach is unhealthy but at the time it felt good. Mutual friends would upload pictures of him and I’d critique from a distance but was glad I was in another city, eating whatever I wanted, knowing I would never bump into him. 

I was newly single but gained “love weight” of 17.2kgs. I had an early 6am flight heading back home and hoped to god the airline didn’t announce a cancellation. I decided to shower and prepare the night before but totally forgot about daylight savings. I missed my alarm and woke up with 1 and a half hours to get to the airport. I didn’t brush my hair, no makeup, checked in while travelling in the uber and started hyperventilating as there were only middle seats available. As a plus size person, I avoid the middle seat.

I made it to the airport and had 15 minutes before the boarding call so decided to walk around and find some breakfast and snacks for the flight. I was looking like a 2 star uber rating but didn’t care as I was heading home and it was 6am after all. I was heading down the long corridor to my gate when I suddenly stopped and started hyperventilating. Walking out of the Qantas lounge with 2 friends was an old flame and they were walking towards me. I panicked and spun around pretending to search for my gate number on the departures and arrivals monitor (I knew very well my gate number). I then saw the newslink store and dashed into scan some novels that were on sale and tried to hide myself behind the shelves. I was sweating more than I ever did at the gym and my eyes darted back and forth as I planned my escape should he enter the store – oh my god what was I doing? I knew very well what I was doing and feeling – I was embarrassed that I looked the way I did and he would be thinking “I dodged a bullet”. Yes, my self esteem, self value and self worth stunk, but at that moment that’s what I did. As the Mai Morning Crew say, no questions asked, no judgement passed. 

I stayed a little longer pretending to read the back of the novels with my eyes darting back and forth but there was no sign of the ex or his friends. I looked at my watch and freaked out as boarding had commenced and quickly headed down the corridor to my gate with my eyes still darting around making sure I didn’t bump into him. I scanned my ticket and was advised by the hostess that I was to board via the back of the plane as I was seat 16B.

I walked on the tarmac and sighed with relief that I had missed him and his friends and vowed to get back to the gym when I landed. I walked up the stairs and smiled, I relaxed and forget about my horror morning. As I waited for passengers to settle into their seats I slowly made my way to row 16 and placed my bag in the overhead compartment and pointed to the lady sitting in the aisle seat that I was assigned the middle seat. I faced forward to slide in when I felt a hot flush come over me and my heart stopped. 

Sitting in front of me in seat 15B was my old flame and his friends.